50: The truth about Jane Austen and Tom Lefroy

Anne Hathaway will be on David Letterman tonight talking about Becoming Jane.  And according to my Tivo, she will be on Good Morning America and Live with Regis and Kelly on Wednesday Aug. 1, and on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Friday Aug. 3.  The movie opens nationwide on the 10th.  I have a pass to a screening next week, so I'll let you know what my thoughts are when I see it.  It looks lovely, just not exactly Jane's story.

Before all the hubbub starts, here's a primer on what happened between Jane Austen and Tom Lefroy.  Forgive the long post -- wanted to get this all in one.  (You can also see excerpts from Jane's letters to her sister about Tom here.)

50: Jane and Tom

Jane Austen essentially created the chick lit genre.  We all know the formula—girl meets guy, girl falls in love with guy, guy breaks her heart, girl meets nicer, better-looking guy with more money and they live happily ever after.  Obstacles abound in Austen’s stories—lack of money on the part of the otherwise lovely heroine, meddling family members who pull lovers apart because they disapprove the match—but these things are always overcome by the abundant worth of two good people who truly love each other.

The love stories in Austen’s own life echo these themes, but without the “happily ever after” ending.

Jane’s first love, at twenty, was Tom Lefroy. He was a law student from Ireland, the nephew of her dear friend Anne’s husband, and Anne may have introduced them. We know little about the relationship, really. Much of what we know of Jane’s life is from her letters, but her sister Cassandra burned many and mutilated more before passing them on to nieces and nephews late in her life. Perhaps Cassandra cut out the juiciest bits, or, as Austen expert Deirdre Le Faye suggests, the parts that could have offended one family member or other. Either way, there are gaps.

Jane and Tom spent some time together over the course of a few weeks, over Christmas and New Year's.  He was fairly serious, quiet and very good—maybe a balance for Jane’s energetic humor. They bantered over Henry Fielding’s Tom Jones, and after a ball, Jane wrote jokingly to Cassandra of “everything most profligate and shocking in the way of dancing and sitting down together.” She writes about how Tom is given a hard time in the Lefroy household for the attachment, so that when she pays a visit he manages to hide.  But he would pay her another visit, as was the custom, to thank her for partnering him at the ball, and the only fault she could really find with him was that his morning coat was “a great deal too light.”

There is much debate these days about just how in love Jane was with Tom, and how much this relationship influenced her writing. Some say it was just a flirtation—clearly, in Jane’s letters, she is being sarcastic, they say. To me she writes like there is some depth to her feelings, in spite of trying to laugh them off.  “I rather expect to receive an offer from my friend in the course of the evening,” she writes of their last meeting.  “I shall refuse him, however, unless he promises to give away his white coat.” She sounds a little bit like my friends and I as well, telling stories of a romance that fell into the middle of a life that was largely without romantic interest, making much of a little thing. Yet, it’s easy to imagine her being teasing and sharp with Tom.

Tom was from a good family but not wealthy.  His father had been in the army.  He was the oldest son, but it was a large family, eleven children with five daughters ahead of him, and he was made to feel that the future of the family was on his shoulders. He was expected to do well, to do much. Though the attachment seems to have been mutual, Anne and her husband stepped in and quickly sent Tom home. The family history is that Anne Lefroy was forever frustrated with Tom over this, his leading Jane on when he knew there was no chance he could propose.

Tom eventually married someone with an appropriately large fortune, had seven children, and went on to become Lord Chief Justice of Ireland. He was no Darcy—not heir to great estates or wealth—but clearly his family had expectations Jane did not meet. If Jane wrote about family interference, she learned it firsthand. Tom may have adored her and she him but she hadn’t enough money to qualify.  Most likely Jane never saw him again.

When it ended, Jane wrote to Cassandra:  “At length the day is come on which I am to flirt my last with Tom Lefroy, & when you receive this it will be over—My tears flow as I write, at the melancholy idea.” She was joking, of course. How deeply she felt the joke we will never really know. But her heart had been engaged for likely the first time.

No doubt this relationship and her repartee with Tom fueled her writing.  Whether it was "her greatest inspiration" as the trailers for Becoming Jane claim, well, that's debatable.  But I'm sure it provided as spark.

Sources:
Jane Austen's Letters (ed. Deirdre Le Faye)
Jane Austen: A Family Record (Deirdre Le Faye)
Jane Austen: A Life (Claire Tomalin)

Picture is of Ashe House, Anne Lefroy's home.

Comments

[Ms. Place]

Like so many romances of one's youth, this one probably faded from Jane's mind as a sweet but distant memory. Wonderful post.

[Linda]

Interesting post... thank you! I just saw Becoming Jane last night and thought is was only OK. It was like a Jane Austen movie, yet without Jane's spark of language (which made me realize how important words are to her stories, as well as the best adaptations). It's intriguing that you post that she may have been joking or sarcastic when speaking of Tom. Could you imagine someone going through your letters in 200 years, and attaching a great romance to a trifling flirtation that you may not remember within 20 years. Interesting theory!

[Lori]

Yes -- or going through emails. Argh! I think only Cassandra knew what Jane was really thinking, but I'm sure she had a crush, and agree with Ms. Place -- it probably became a good but distant memory.

[too much like austen]

I don't know much about her but what i do know is that she loved love. Therefore she had to have experienced it because no matter how much you believe in love you never are sure about it until you experience it. I am not forgetting though that it is the belief of love that leads to love in the first place. But going on, it is also evident that the love relationship did not last hence why the love lasted until Jane Austin's death. So if this fling is with Tom, despite her sarcasm she did love him. And it probably was as intense of a love if not more intense as the movie Becoming Jane suggests. I believe that she felt unworthy because of her circumstances and she let him go. She wrote to do two things : to live in that love again and again as often as she liked, and to make enough money to feel worthy enough for Tom. But what she probably didn't learn until she was writing Persusian is that she didn't have faith in her love with Tom and that alone is why their relationship did not last. She had only faith in her writing, which was timeless (that's what they say and i do agree)

[Bekah]

When reading Jane's novels, and comparing them to her life, you see so many similarities. That's not going to change when comparing to Jane's love life. I think she really did love Tom. Someone as sensible as Jane Austen-how could she not?

[shEyla]

i cant wait to read all of em' novels.
i think my horizons over literature need to be widened first as Mr. lefroy suggested!
she did have a clever mind which she used to express in a high level of understanding

[jan p]

The thing that many people do not know is that there are some interesting details to this story supposedly..such as they're meeting at at the holidays. Tom later had a daughter and he named her, Jane, but before you jump, that was also the name of his MIL and a common name at the time..but he did give the girl Christmas as a middle name, which is coincidentally the first time they met...

Tom also came back to the town of Jane and his aunt, not long before his marriage and visited. There is no found mention of their meeting but.

Parts of Jane's letters, have been removed by her sister Cassie, after Jane's death, they do know.

And then there is finally, the discussion of Jane Austen's funeral.

Tom Lefroy traveled all the way from Ireland to England to attend it. At that time, not an easy task.

He, also attended an auction of her effects. He ironically purchased the first rejection letter to the manuscript that would be called Pride and Prejudice.

Some say Darcy might have been partly modeled after him.

These items I think are curious and not commonly known...

To think someone you might once had connection with does these particular things after your death? Remember in those days, your reputation spoke volumes. So I'm sure her family was protective of her.

Unique, tragic and heartwarming .